to have it known

last year when I was in
the hospital for that thing
with my


you wouldn’t say it back
and I’ve known since
things had changed deeply in you

a person doesn’t confess love to have it returned
only to have it known
and, love, I’m too honest to
push or pull

I want you around like god, everywhere
all the time, shining
if she’s here at all, she’s like that
and we try to imitate

glints of your light fleck my shadow
my memory is a cosmos of your shining
and I hate any goodbye
but I can only be me to you
a mirror can only tell the truth
you’ll have to step in front of me
for me to see anything